What's Up Wednesday: The "I Need To Blog More" Edition

 

What's Up Wednesday is a weekly meme geared toward readers and writers, allowing us to touch base with blog friends and let them know what's up. It's hosted by Jaime Morrow and Erin L. Funk, and if you want to join in, sign up on Jaime's blog!

What I'm Reading: 

 No new books this week! I've been lazy and haven't started anything new.

 I did finish Life After Theft and loved it, especially the main character. Slightly nerdy sweet guys seem to be taking over my reading pile and I don't mind at all. ;-)

What I'm Writing: 

A little bit stalled on my WIP, so I've turned to the trick that got me through Bookishly-- writing prompts. Those little scenes are a fun way to get to know my characters.

What Inspires Me Right Now: 

So You Think You Can Dance started up again last week, and watching all those a-ma-zing dancers has been inspiring. One even made me cry with her contemporary. There's power in movement and music (I miss dancing!!!!!!!)

Part of my non-bloggy, non-reading uselessness this past weekend was a direct result of the Eurovision Song Contest finals. Even though Portugal didn't participate this year, I still hunted for a live feed and caught up with the rest of the videos online. Incase any of you missed the cheesetasticness that was Eurovision, I give you Romania's entry (destined to go down in history as one of the more memorable entries):

Falsetto Vampire singer???? Romania, you win the internet.

I did fall for one of the Icelandic songs that didn't make it past their country round (Iceland sent a ballad-singing Viking instead...) I think this one is so pretty:

What Else I've Been Up To:

-More cadaver labs. This last one was awesome, though, since it was held in a mobile lab: A truck pulled into the office parking lot. The driver hit a button and it unfolded, Transformer-like, into a cadaver lab. So. COOL. Have dead bodies, will travel.

-I've begun querying Bookishly Ever After. Confession: I'm pretty zen about the whole thing. Why?

I give you: What I've learned from years of product development (Proof that engineering has hardened part of my soul?):

1. You are not your design (or book.) When people critique/reject/whatever your product, you are not the product. I know it might feel like an extension of your own body and soul (believe me, I knoooooow,) but it's not-- it's only something you made. If the product disappeared, you will still be here and valuable.
2. At work, one project I worked on was cancelled, another was top secret and filed away for future use, possibly never to be seen again. Two and a half years on my resume pretty much look like a black hole. Just because I have no physical product to show for all my effort does not mean I didn't grow as an engineer.
3. Awesome designs and ideas get rejected all of the time. The fact is, companies need to make money and, no matter how amazing your design might be, it might not be right timing-wise for the market.
4. I really like teal.
5. Sometimes, you need to put up the batsignal and pull together a group of creative minds to brainstorm solutions. No one has all the right answers all the time.
6. Passion is essential for design. It gets you through the "boring" parts of product development. Like tolerance analyses. Or waiting.
7. Perspective: No one will die if my writing isn't loved. Someone could die if I mess up an instrument/implant design (and all the checks and balances fail. Luckily, we have teams made up of very smart people to share the burden!!!) While one of the best feelings ever is to see the first x-ray with something you designed implanted in a patient, the worst feeling in the world is to hear something went wrong with your product. Even if it's out of your control-- surgeon misuse, patient non-compliance, a manufacturing snafu-- it's an awful, awful feeling. Imagine hearing that someone had to be reoperated or, heaven forbid, died, because of something you made. I've been lucky to this point, but even knowing this gives me perspective in everything else I do.

So, yeah. Cue zen POV, an organized spreadsheet, and starting a new WIP. We'll get through this.

What have you been up to lately?

What's Up Wednesday: The Ice Cold Edition

What's Up Wednesday is a weekly meme geared toward readers and writers, allowing us to touch base with blog friends and let them know what's up. It's hosted by Jaime Morrow and Erin L. Funk, and if you want to join in, sign up on Jaime's blog!



What I'm Reading: 

Remember my first What's Up Wednesday when I was trying to read a gajillion books at the same time because they all released on the same day?

Uhm, yeah, I failed miserably. But! But! That means this week I'm enjoying a fun read by one of my favorite modern YA authors.

I'm about a third of the way through Life After Theft by Aprilynne Pike and I love the voice and story. With no heat in the apartment, staying up late to finish a book probably won't happen, but I probably will finish this in the next day, easily.

What I'm Writing: 
More of Em's story. I like writing from her POV. She's a little snarky, very dramatic, and it's fun to see Phoebe (the MC from my contemporary) through her eyes when they share scenes. I'm at 4K right now and am having so much fun playing with these characters.

What Inspires Me Right Now: 
Last week, I was in two days of cadaver labs (about...9 bodies?) I'll be in another lab later this week. Some of these bodies are not "old." I'm reminded of how short a time we have on this planet. It puts everything into perspective.

I'm inspired because I'm freed from freaking out over the little things, at least for a tiny while.


What Else I've Been Up To:

Post-it pen in action. I've only flagged up to Chapter 4 so far

Remember how I gushed over The Summer I Became A Nerd? Well, I'm going to confess to being a major nerd right now. I'm going through the book with my handy-dandy post-it flag pen and marking every geeky hidden reference I find.

Yes, my post-it DOES say "duh." Some references are self-explanatory!

 

I bought two new Ravenscroft hair moons and have been having fun with silly moon hairstyles, including Sailor-Moon-esque mini buns.




I love these little moons! They hold so well!

 

And keeping with the "yes, I'm still five years old" theme, I've planted an "enchanted fairy garden" in my apartment. Let's see if it survives the freezing apartment.

And, incase you haven't figured it out from this post so far, I've had no heat in my apartment for the past week. Which would have been fine if it hadn't gone down to 34F the other night. I've been huddling under multiple blankets for the past week! Not too helpful for productivity.

That's my Wednesday. What have you been up to lately?

Reactions I get...

... when people find out I'm an engineer (courtesy of a business trip to Vegas, where I heard some of these.)

1. Blank stare *blink**blink*
2. "You mean like, train engineer? Or radio?" Really? Really???
3. "You must like math." Uh, not really.
4. "You must be smart." Uhmmmmm...
5. "What kind?" Usually from other engineers or people related to engineers. Sometimes to check if I'm telling the truth. There are people who claim to be engineers who aren't.
6. You don't look like an engineer. Why? Because I know how to comb my hair (sometimes?)
7. "What's an engineer?" WTF?

3 and 4 make me laugh the hardest. Confession: I never liked math, except for Geometry. I'm an English and Art girl all the way. But Physics really fascinated me in high school thanks to dynamic teachers who made things like calculating the velocity of a baby's projectile vomit for extra credit fun.

Math is a tool, just like the alphabet. It might come more intuitively for some than others, but, in the end... it's a tool like anything else.

And since I'm a bit clumsy, math was like a hammer I kept slamming onto my thumb.

It didn't come intuitively for me, and while some of my friends were breezing through Differential Equations and Matrix Methods in college, I was editing their liberal arts papers in exchange for tutoring. And while I now refuse to derive equations from scratch (who does that?,) I love the magic that comes from brainstorming and designing something from scratch... and holding the first prototype in my hands. It's a worthwhile trade-off to all the calculations I may have to make.

What tool did you have to "master" even if you didn't love it?

A Remote What's Up

What's Up Wednesday is a weekly meme geared toward readers and writers, allowing us to touch base with blog friends and let them know what's up. It's hosted by Jaime Morrow and Erin L. Funk, and if you want to join in, sign up on Jaime's blog!

Today is a remote What's Up? because I'm writing this from *gasp* Las Vegas.

Don't get too excited-- I'm here for work, which, for me, that means two days of cadaver labs *waves at the new followers who are currently cringing and regretting their follow decisions.* Plus, since I don't drink or gamble*, my only potential downfall here might be shopping.

*I've gambled a total of $2 in all my visits to Vegas, just to say I did.

Annnnyway, this veers wildly into the "What Else I've Been Up To," so I'll just start:

What I'm Reading:

Last night I stayed up until 3 am reading The Summer I Became A Nerd by Leah Rae Miller. On my flight between Phoenix and Vegas, I reread all my favorite sections. To say I've fallen hard for this book would be an understatement. It's a geek-girl's dream book.

Just an example of how badly I geeked out as I semi-live tweeted as I devoured the book:

@leahr_miller OMG. Started TSIBAN and my geek heart soared at the fact that your MC is named Madelyne Jean Summers!!!! *happy geeky dance*
— (@Emberchyld) May 8, 2013

@leahr_miller ... and Phoenix! If the comic book nods keep coming like this, I'll be geeking out all book long!
— (@Emberchyld) May 8, 2013

Devouring "The Summer I Became a Nerd" by @leahr_miller and caught another comic reference I first missed. I am such a nerd #ButAHappyOne
— (@Emberchyld) May 8, 2013

Oh, nerdy awesome books. How I love thee. *book swoon*
— (@Emberchyld) May 8, 2013

Who the heck needs sleep? *yawns* *finishes The Summer I Became A Nerd, passes out for 4hrs (hopefully), dreaming of LARPing* @leahr_miller
— (@Emberchyld) May 8, 2013

So, uh, yes, I loved this book. It was another one that gave me a writer crisis moment, right after I laughed out loud while reading a scene at 1am. Me, to self: "Damn, I write complete and total crap, why do I even bother? How could I ever write something this fun and witty and wonderful?"

 

I had my crisis, then dove straight back in to the book because it was -that- awesome.

 

Other reads: When I'm not fawning over the book I just gushed about, I'm reading two wonderful WIPs. One I read on the flight out, and one I'll finish on the flight back. YAY flights!

 

Then, a second read to make notes.

What I'm Writing: 

Playing with Em from Bookishly, with her story currently going by the name "Dramatically Ever After"

If I ever write a Grace story (another character from Bookishly,) I'm already tentatively going to call it "Practically Ever After."

What Inspires Me Right Now:

NERDS!!!! (I'm useless at the moment, aren't I?) Boys with glasses. Comic books. Do you see a pattern on this Wednesday?

It could be the lack of sleep talking, too.

What Else I've Been Up To: Vegas, dead bodies, OMG hotel room that is bigger than my apartment (not.kidding.)

Just the bathing part of the hotel bathroom-- shower and GIANT tub.
I may soak in that for a tiny, little while.

And humidity is back!

FRIZZ!

That's my Wednesday update.

So, what have you been up to lately?

The Writer's Voice

Has it been a year already?

Well, I was very lucky to make it into The Writer's Voice blog contest, hosted by Cupid of Cupid’s Literary Connection, Brenda Drake of Brenda Drake Writes, Krista Van Dolzer of Mother. Write. (Repeat.), and Monica B.W. of Love YA. That means all of you get to see my query and first 250 for Bookishly Ever After. (sorry)

To learn more about the contest, go here.

One of my (many) embarassingly overstuffed bookshelves.
It goes well with Bookishly. Really. Kind-of. Uhm..
Okay, I just needed an image for a break.

Query:

Dear Wonderful Writer's Voice Team:

In a perfect world, sixteen-year-old Phoebe Martins’ life would be a book. Preferably a YA novel with magic and a hot paranormal love interest. Unfortunately, between her extreme social ineptness and the lack of anything remotely interesting at school, her life probably wouldn’t even qualify for a quiet contemporary.

            Everything changes when her best friend tells Phoebe that Dev, the hottest guy in the clarinet section, might actually have a crush on her. So, Phoebe, too shy to just ask him out herself, turns to the heroines in her favorite books for advice on a personality overhaul. Trying to be as flirty and outgoing as Marissa, or as kick-ass and intellectual as Maeve doesn’t do anything beyond convince him she has multiple personality disorder. When another girl nets Dev for herself right from under Phoebe’s nose, she’s crushed.

            Then, to up the suckage, she gets assigned as his co-counselor at a sixth grade camp and has to spend an entire week tied to the hip with the one guy on the planet she wanted to avoid. Can she make it through the potential danger of romantic bonfires and nature walks without Dev figuring out she’s still not over him, or will her counseling career end in emotional disaster? Can she ever go back to her happy world of fictional boys after falling for the real thing?

            BOOKISHLY EVER AFTER is a standalone 69,000 word young adult contemporary. I feel that Phoebe’s story will appeal to fans of Meg Cabot’s, Stephanie Perkins’, and Sarah Strohmeyer’s books.  

I have also created synopses for all of the “books” Phoebe reads through the course of the story, and these can be developed into short stories, novellas, or full-length manuscripts as needed for use as promotional website material or companion novellas/novels.

Thank you for your consideration.

 

--------------
First 250:

I rocked forward, balancing my book on my knees and tried to ignore the yelling and chatter around me. The edge of the cafeteria bench dug into my legs, practically cutting off my circulation, but I barely noticed.

Em elbowed me, leaning over to hiss in my ear. “Seriously, Feebs, put that down. You look like a freak.”

“Uh-huh. Just one more page… it’s getting good.” I flipped the page. Maeve was about to be transported to the Otherland and the court.

“God, you are a freak.” Em heaved a dramatic sigh and turned to talk to the rest of our tablemates.

Yes. This was it. It was like electricity jumped off of the page and into my fingers, travelling straight to the pit of my stomach. Liam.

The words rolled over me and the cafeteria faded away. He held out his hand, waiting, and there I was, just like Maeve, dying to reach out and wrap my fingers around his. I could feel those gold-flecked eyes boring into me.

“Trust me…” I whispered along with him and my heart skipped a beat.

“What the hell?” Em broke into my thoughts and I jolted back to the cafeteria and the sight of a guy a few tables over trying to stuff an entire hoagie into his mouth. God, reality sucks.

It took a second to focus and I closed the book slowly, holding it so tight that the corners of the cover dug into my palms. “Em, I think I’m in love.”
--------------

Wish me luck!

What's Up Wednesday

Yes, I've been gone a WHILE (sorry,) but on a positive note, I've been spending that time revising and writing... and conferencing in the Poconos in the cutest cabin in the planet (yes, I'll blog about that later. Promise.) So, when I saw this meme on Jaime Morrow's blog, I had to hop on! What a great way to catch up with everyone!


What's Up Wednesday is a weekly meme geared toward readers and writers, allowing us to touch base with blog friends and let them know what's up. It's hosted by Jaime Morrow and Erin L. Funk, and if you want to join in, sign up on Jaime's blog!


What I'm Reading:

Oh, boy. This has been one of thooooose weeks. Two new releases, a new release from last week that I had to order, and a friend's WIP.

I want to read them all. And a part of me is trying.

WIP: I'm 4 chapters in, loving the concept and writing. The problem with going to conferences like the SCBWI Eastern PA Poconos retreat is that you get to read and hear excerpts from so many awesome WIPs. I'm dying to read more! (hint, hint Poconos ppl)

How Zoe Made Her Dreams (Mostly) Come True by Sarah Strohmeyer. A) Set in New Jersey! YAY! B) I loved Smart Girls Get What They Want and the beginning of this book has the same, fun voice I expected from Sarah Strohmeyer.

Life After Theft by Aprilynne Pike. All of you must know by now that I love my fictional dead boys, so a book about a fictional dead girl means that she'll probably move very quickly into bff (best fictional friend) status.

Sweet Peril by Wendy Higgins. Oh, Kai. *swoon* That's all.

What I'm Writing:

I finished rev 6 of You And I, which I've renamed to Bookishly Ever After. While I'm waiting for feedback, I'm playing with two different WIPs-- one about a character from Bookishly, and a completely new, shiny contemporary.

If the me who started this blog had known I'd willingly write contemporary and love it, she would have had a heart attack.

What Inspires Me Right Now:

Wil Wheaton. Everyone needs to see his video on why it's awesome to be a nerd or read the transcript.* No matter how many times I see or read it, I start tearing up. I wish nerdy teen me could have seen this.

"It's not about what you love. It's about how you love it."- Wil Wheaton

*Thank you, Jaime, for tweeting me this link!

I'm also inspired by all the support and love I've found in the writing community, especially the kidlit community. It's incredible to watch (and join in) as we lift each other up, cheer for our friends' successes, offer valuable time for critiques or guidance, and send silly cat pictures when someone has an awful day.

From the Poetry Garden at the Highlights Boyds Mills facility
Picture courtesy of my Poconos retreat roomie, D.B. Graves

What Else I've Been Up To:

Work. And more work. And more work. The day after the Poconos conference, I was in a cadaver lab, I'll be in another two next week, and another one the week after. Possibly one in June. That's a lot of dead bodies.

But! That also means that I'm in the learning and development phase of a new project for work. This is the fun part of being a product development engineer, that rush of watching a surgeon in action, watching how they have to adapt to current instrumentation or implants, and trying to figure out how to make the surgery faster and easier for them. There are lightbulb moments and brainstorming sessions where the team builds off of each other's ideas. I get to model new parts in CAD (3D computer aided design) and send them to a 3D printer or to the prototype shop.

Sometimes you invent new things: As of the end of 2012, I'm the proud owner of two patents, one for an instrument and one for an implant (currently in people, which is awesome and scary at the same time.)

It's that same honeymoon period feeling of creation I get when diving into a new writing WIP.

Skating: My coaches predicted that I'd need six months to adapt to my new boots and blades. So far, they're right. I've gotten back almost all of my jumps and most of my spins, though some of my footwork (*cough* twizzles *cough*) still needs work.

The skates are powerful. When I go into a jump with the right entrance and speed, I fly. As long as I concentrate on hooking into my spins, they're faster and more centered than spins in my old boots. Both Coach #1 and Coach #2 agree that the fitter did an awesome job. I love these skates.

That's my Wednesday update.

So, what have you been up to lately?

Breaking In

I owe all of you a post about the SCBWI NY conference, which was amazing, inspiring, and moved me through a yo-yo of emotions from side-aching laughter to tears. But a post like that deserves a lot of time to plan and write, and I didn't have that last week. Maybe next week will be better.

These past few weeks at work have been exhausting and last week was one of the worst, with early mornings and late nights. I haven't written in days, beyond a few notes to myself or a half hour stolen here and there. Since writing comes before blog posts, I apologize for the delay in posting! (Heck, I was even on a work conference call with a surgeon during my lunchbreak last Friday at the SCBWI Writer's Intensive!)

Instead of SCBWI, I'm talking skates today. My new, pretty, OMG expensive figure skates. And the breaking in process from hell.

My new skates with my old skate monkey soakers

 

My old skates were six years old, broken down to the point of being dangerous, and the blades had been sharpened so many times, there really was no more steel left on them. I'd already sprained my foot thanks to an overly soft left boot and my coach actually stopped working on some multiple jumps because the boots didn't have enough support. They also smelled like something died in them... maybe even worse than used hockey gear.

I loved my old skates. They were comfortable and saw me through most of my single jumps and all of my spins. I've competed, skated the Rideau Canal, and watched the sun set over NYC and rise over San Francisco in them.

Still, it was time to move on. I needed a harder boot and a more advanced blade, something that would take me through double jumps and maybe into my axel. I went to the skate guru who fits olympians at a rink near my office, and was upgraded to Jackson Premiere boots and Eclipse Mist blades (similar to Coronation Aces, for all you skating geeks out there.) He heat molded the boots and lectured me about sharpenings and socks. We took about half an hour just to position the blades.

I nearly fell on my face the first few times I tried to get enough speed on the ice to check the positioning.

Oh, so padded! Still doesn't mean they're not cutting a bit into my ankles and foot!

Shiny, shiny blades! That toepick is larger than my old ones.

The boot was stiff. Strange. Big. The blade felt curvier and funny under my foot. My balance was all off. I felt like a beginner in those boots. The toepick was huge. Back to square one. Oh. My. God.

When I stepped on the ice yesterday for my first lesson in these boots, it was one of the scariest things I've done in ages. But in those fourty five minutes and with my coach's encouragement, those skates slowly became more comfortable. Stroking laps around the rink went from impossible to normal.

Then, he asked me to try a basic jump... slowly.

Even with a tiny waltz jump, I felt the power in my boot and blade. I flew. My landings were solid. Though I fell on a salchow, it was because of my technique and not the boots (the bruises on my elbows and pelvis are epic. Really. Ask me tomorrow, when the real soreness sets in. I already feel awful today.) And that same stiffness that is currently cutting into my ankles and bruising my feet will give my jumps incredible height. 

Skate guru punched out the side of my boot to make room for my lumpy foot.
Now my skate is lumpy,too.

It's going to take hours of work and bruising and discomfort to adjust to them, but these skates are going to be amazing once I get through this learning curve. I can't wait to see where they take me.

So many things in life need learning curves and hard work before we can improve and grow. What have you had to "break in" so you could "fly"?

A New Year's Economics Lesson

Some of this is pulled from and inspired by an oooooooold blog post of mine (not here) when I was just a bloggy baby. I was hunting for the Sarah Dessen quote you'll see in here and reread my post. I decided to bring some of the text over, deleting out the personal stuff from almost 10 years ago and adding a tiny bit, because it really is a nice message to remember for 2013. (Note: the post was aimed at a friend of mine going through a tough time back then!)

We are all priceless.

One-of-a-kind masterpieces-- there's no one like you in the world, and never will be. Remember that. Because, being priceless, you deserve the very best.

"The truth was I knew, after all those flat January days, that I deserved better. I deserved I love yous and kiwi fruits and flowers and warriors coming to my door, besotted with love. I deserved pictures of my face in a million expressions... I deserved to grow and to change, to become all the girls I could ever be over the course of my life, each one better than the last." --Sarah Dessen, Someone Like You

We're not perfect. I know I'm definitely not perfect. I may not be model-beautiful. Hell, I might not be beautiful at all (I've had those "Is it the way I look?" moments... I've had good and bad days). I have a personality that probably grates-- I babble and bounce perkily and talk too much about myself. I can be timid and shy and afraid, I'm proud and stubborn and sometimes dumber that I really sound. I cry at toilet paper commercials when I'm in a mood, throw pointe shoes, and have something of an ego. I wax poetic. I'm overly apologetic. I can be obsessive about my weight. I care too much. I dress weird and talk weird. But, I still know I deserve the best for me. I deserve someone who... well, fits what Sarah Dessen wrote. I have incredible worth.

So do you. Don't sell yourself short.

That's my economic lesson for the day:

You = priceless (or at least incredibly expensive)

And 2013 is going to be amazing.

Anyone want to put in their 2 cents?

2013 No Kiss Blogfest!!

It's here! It's here!!!

The Annual No Kiss Blogfest, hosted by Frankie Diane Mallis!!

For my entry this year, I decided to play with characters connected to my latest project, You and I. You and I is filled with little excerpts from the "books" my book-geek MC reads, including a "book series" about a girl in love with a ghost trapped in a mirror world. This No Kiss is a little blurb with the characters in that "series."

To make my life harder and to give myself practice in working with tenses (one of the things I needed to strengthen), all of the "excerpts" from this "book series" are written in first person present tense. Please forgive any awkwardness in tense here!

I present to you Marissa and Cyril, from the Hidden House "series" in all their no-kiss glory:

            I throw my hands up in frustration and pace away from the mirror. “Don’t you get it, you idiot? I’m not in love with him.”

            “If you do not have feelings for him, why did you let him into your room? And why did you act like he was the most interesting person on the continent?” Cyril adds something else under his breath and I can’t hear it.

I blink at him, feeling my lips turn down into a frown. I want to reach through the mirror and shake his jealous Victorian ass. “I’m only flirting with Dan to get his attention off of you. Remember, I don’t do love triangles.”

“Love triangles?”

            The confusion on his face is so cute I can’t completely stay mad at him. Still, I take my time walking back to the mirror. I know the little skirts and makeup I’ve been wearing to school definitely upset his old-fashioned sensibilities, but he’s still a guy. Who is totally checking me out right now. “Translation: I only fall for one guy at a time.”

            “And Dan…?”

            “Is not that guy.” I lean closer, my nose only inches from the antique silvered glass separating us. To normal people, I must look like a freak, talking to my reflection. But they don’t see what I see, which right now is an adorably frustrated hottie. Cyril steps closer to his side of the glass and, if I imagine hard enough, I can feel his breath whisper across my cheek as he exhales. “You are,” I whisper.

            There are rules. A line we can’t cross. He and I both know it. But it doesn’t stop either of us from leaning closer, moths drawn to an incredibly dangerous flame. His eyes flicker to my lips and I feel a cold fire run across the surface of my skin, electrifying me.

            We don’t touch the mirror’s surface. Instead, our hands parallel each other’s path along the carved wooden frame. One of his hands comes up and his fingers seem to be tracing the line of my chin, up to my bottom lip… I shut my eyes and imagine him here, that one finger trailing a line of electricity along its path. My lip tingles with that phantom touch and I hold back a gasp. My hand grips the mirror’s frame, its carvings digging into my palm.

            On his side of the mirror, Cyril audibly takes in a breath and my eyes pop open. He’s just as affected as I am. Somewhere along the way, we had both tilted our heads so our lips are perfectly aligned. Our combined breaths leave a cloud of white on both sides of the mirror and I see the puffs of breath speed up to the same rhythm. We’re so close that if I just lean in a little bit further, maybe--

His fingers touch the mirror, oh so gently, in a motion that’s meant to stop me. His silver eyes lock with mine and his next words come out sounding almost pained. “If I touch you, you’ll be trapped here.”

“What if I say I don’t care anymore?” I ask, my voice a lot shakier than I’d like.

Cyril closes his eyes, takes a step back, and another until he’s a safe distance from the mirror. No amount of me touching it now would break the barrier. “I do.”

I slump to the floor, breathless, and drop my head into my hands. My body still feels the ghost of the might-have-been. “How are we going to make this work?”

“I don’t know.”

Want to read more no-kiss scenes? Head on over to Frankie's site!

2012 In Bookish Awesomeness (and Fangirlishness)

While 2012 was a huge emotional rollercoaster for me and my family personally (except for the baby nephew, I don't want this year to repeat EVER. OMG, awful,) writing and book-geek-wise, it was wonderful.

And I'm going to list it all here :) because that's apparently the bloggy thing to do at the end of the year:

January

The SCBWI Winter Conference in NYC.

• Where I finally met my friend (and CP) D.B. Graves in person. And the two of us TOTALLY fangirled Cassandra Clare.
• Where I met the amazing Kimberly Sabatini (who confessed to me later that she talked to me because of my shoes :-P) and whose book, Touching the Surface helped feed my fictional dead boy addiction when it came out in October.
• Where I asked Alison Cherry to sign a printout of her fictional boys blogpost, because it is that awesome.
•  Where I fangirled Tara Weikum from Harper Teen, who has edited some of my favorite books ever, including Die For Me.
• Where Henry Winkler made an inspiring surprise appearance and Chris Crutcher drove us to tears.

Henry Winkler!!!!

Me taking a picture of Deena taking a picture of Cassie Clare

April

The SCBWI PA Conference in the Poconos (Thanks to Kim's pressuring gentle suggestions that I attend)

• Where I cried all over the great Laurie Halse Anderson and learned that revision is AWESOME
• Where I made so many new writerly friends *hugs all of the ladies from SCBWIPA*: Stephanie, Megan, Jodi, Taylor, Kit, Ann... and I know I'm going to forget someone, so kick me REALLY hard (it's almost 11 here.) I lost my grandmother that weekend and not only were you just plain fun to be around, you comforted me when I was far from home)
• Uhm, early morning bagpipe tweets, anyone?
• Where Stacy Cantor Abrams' (Entangled Publishing) talk on character jump-started Phoebe's voice in my WIP and Sara Sargent's (Balzer and Bray/Harper Collins) talk on tension helped me figure out the timing for that same story.
• Where I won a copy of Pretty Amy to totally devour before it hit the bookshelves. And won my bid on an ARC of Touching The Surface. Yay, early copies!

Sadly, I had an SD card malfunction and lost most of my pictures from the Poconos! *sniffle* *cry*

May

Until I Die booksigning at Books of Wonder in NYC

• Where I got to see the amazing queen of French fictional dead boys Amy Plum
• Where I met Natalie Zaman, co-author of the Sirenz series, fellow knitter, and all around awesome person.
• Where I met Kristi Cook (author of Haven) and Jocelyn Davies (author of A Beautiful Dark)
• Where I learned that driving into NYC from my office isn't awful, but parking is (well... $$$$$!)

Amy Plum, Jocelyn Davies, and Kristi Cook

June

Dark Days Tour in Fairless Hills, PA

• Where I got to meet Aprilynne Pike, author of the Wings series *fangirl squee* and the upcoming Life After Theft and Earthbound. And baker extraordinaire.
• Where I met two AWESOME bloggers, Jena of Shortie Says and Jaime of The Perpetual Page Turner and The Broke and Bookish.
• Where I also met Liz Norris, author of Unravelling and Bethany Griffin, author of Masque of the Red Death. These two ladies were also wonderfully fun.
• Where I followed mapquest to come home and (I swear) it took me through the middle of nowhere New Jersey. I was convinced I was going to end up breaking down in the middle of a field and zombies were going to eat me.

Liz Norris, Aprilynne Pike, and Bethany Griffin (and me, of course)

  
Book Expo America Power Reader Day

•  Where the publishing industry opened its conference doors on its last day to (some) of the public
• Where I rushed straight to the RWA booth to see Jeri Smith-Ready, author of the Shade series
• Where I saw Stacy Cantor Abrams and Jocelyn Davies again
• Where I ran into My Mercurial Muse while waiting on line for Victoria Schwab, author of The Near Witch
• Where I took a picture in a bubble
• Where I picked up a LOT of books to read...
• ... and then, while getting on the bus home afterwards, kind-of fell into my seat and blocked the bus aisle while the very cute guy behind me laughed at me the entire time. Because I am the most awkward person on the planet and am doomed to never date. Ever.

Jeri Smith-Ready!!!! OMG, I'm wearing flats next to her and am a GIANT.

The Shadowhunter Stairs at BEA

What I brought back from BEA. I'm STILL working on getting to Code Name Verity.

Yes, that's me in a bubble!!!

 August

Bring YA to PA

• Where I took a workshop with so many amazing author-mentors-speakers. If I try to list everyone here, I'll forget someone. The YAPA page has everyone listed.
• Where I sat right next to Gwendolyn Heasley, author of Where I Belong and, when she introduced herself, I said: "You're in my Nook!!!!!" *facepalm*
• Where I totally fangirled Jennifer Armentrout (Lux Series) and Wendy Higgins (Sweet Evil)
• Where I finally saw Frankie Diane Mallis in person (my schedule has stunk for going to the Philly Lit nights)
• Where I had an awesome time chatting a while with so, so many people, including:
  Charlotte Bennardo, co author of the Sirenz series and a transplant to NJ :)
  Jackie Kessler, whose book Hunger kept me company on my flight to Portugal. I really need to blog about it on my book blog, because it's another incredibly powerful eating disorder book.
  Amalie Howard, author of Bloodspell, sweetest person ever, love her!
• Where I won an ARC of Send Me a Sign by Tiffany Schmidt in the raffle (OMG, I loved this book)
• Where I stood on line talking for ages with Stacy O'Neale and didn't even realize it! She's so much fun. If you don't follow her blog or twitter or youTube... WHY?
• Where I saw Jeri, Jena, Kit, and Ann again!

(this was another victim of the dead SD card fiasco... the only ones saved were those I saved to my desktop for tweeting)

Jennifer Armentrout (after I ambushed her)

Wendy Higgins

Jena of Shortie Says

The signed poster of Onyx in my "book picture corner." I LOVE how
Emily looks totally disapproving of Katy and Daemon

In between all of these fun events, I've been writing and growing and changing. I've learned so much this year from contests and tweets and cheering on all of the wonderful people I've met on this journey

I wish you all a wonderful 2013. Writers that I follow, I can't wait to squee over your new releases, or over your steps further on the way to publication. Readers that I follow, I can't wait to hear about the next book boyfriend I'll be crushing on or author I'll be fangirling. Editors that I follow-- I can't wait to see what you acquire next.

This is going to be an awesome year. I just know it. (and, hopefully on the personal side, we're done with deaths in the family for a while, okay? Pretty please????)